Author: OJ

math sucks. and recovery feels asymptotic.

math sucks. and recovery feels asymptotic.

The reality of the situation is that it’s tough. The kind of tough that feels indefinable, yet I’m no stranger to its heaviness. The tough that feels too much. I feel too much. Shortly after I wrote about my struggle

how missing a foot-hole saved my life

how missing a foot-hole saved my life

TW: depression, suicidality . . . With the start of a new week, I’m reminded once again of the transient nature of emotions. In the moment when urges are high, they feel infuriatingly stagnant, however, last week was another piece

mental illness and milestones (the big 3-0!)

mental illness and milestones (the big 3-0!)

Today… I turn 30! Over the past few days, people have reminded me that celebrating another birthday is a gift compared to the alternative. As I sit here, I know that to be true, but it’s also difficult to face the

bad “to the bone”

bad “to the bone”

We’ve watched the trailer of the upcoming Netflix film “To the Bone” multiple times now. We’ve talked about it ad nauseum. We’re both angry and sick to our stomachs. This film isn’t simple. Lily Collins, who struggled with an eating

relentless health anxiety in eating disorder recovery: a paradox

relentless health anxiety in eating disorder recovery: a paradox

There’s a terrible irony in wanting and expecting more from lessening. In the case of my eating disorder, making myself smaller to lessen my presence and decrease the amount of space I occupied, disguised itself as a solution to avoid